What’s your FAD? Read through our mystery box themes to see what you vibe with. This is all about sparking a connection to create a space you love. Whether it’s retro decade-specific nostalgia, self-care calm, or maximalist energy, we got you!
We're still putting the finishing touches on our online mystery box ordering process—and we want to make sure we get it right. In the meantime, we'd love to create a custom box just for you!
Simply email us at functionalaestheticdesignsdc@gmail.com with your preferred theme or aesthetic and your budget. We'll curate your mystery box, send you an invoice, and coordinate pickup or delivery.
Pictures of example boxes may contain items that are no longer available
Choose from one of the vibes below or make your own…
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In a Scandi Kind of Mood
Slip into a world of cool-toned calm, quiet luxury, and modern nostalgia. In a Scandi Kind of Mood are curated mystery boxes inspired by Scandinavian minimalism, winter moodiness, and soft vintage textures. Inside, you'll find decor that whispers rather than shouts. Think pale woods, aged ceramics, smoky glass, cozy textiles, and objects that feel both lived-in and effortlessly curated.
Each piece channels that elusive blend of hygge comfort and Nordic restraint, perfect for creating a space that’s clean but not cold, calm but full of soul.
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Patrick Bateman-Core (High End 80’s Wall Street):
Welcome to a world of glossy surfaces, empty smiles, and immaculate taste. Inspired by the cold perfectionism of Patrick Bateman (American Physcho) and the high-stakes aesthetic of 1980s Wall Street, this vintage mystery decor box delivers a curated slice of luxury, status obsession, and minimalist menace.
Inside, you’ll find items that whisper wealth — chrome accents, bone-white details, pristine minimalism, and a hint of something... off. Perfect for anyone who appreciates power suits, business cards with watermarks, and a perfectly curated life (or at least the illusion of one).
“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.” – P. Bateman
No blood, just tasteful murder-adjacent ambiance.
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“Nothing Succeeds like Excess” – Oscar Wilde
Unapologetically over-the-top and drenched in decadence, these vintage mystery boxes celebrate the fine art of too much. Inspired by 70s disco luxe, 80s wealth-core, and old Hollywood vanity — every item inside is a love letter to glamour, indulgence, and aesthetic maximalism.
Expect textures that gleam, patterns that clash on purpose, and objects that feel like they once belonged on a mirrored tray in a penthouse suite — or in the back room of a Studio 54 afterparty.
Minimalism? Never heard of her.
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Art that Pops
Bold, cheeky, and impossible to ignore — Art That Pops is a celebration of bold lines, bright colors, and the unapologetically graphic. Inspired by Pop Art, mid-century kitsch, and playful postmodern design, this mystery box is packed with decor that adds instant attitude to any space.
Inside you’ll find a mix of retro flair, punchy palettes, and ironic charm — the kind of pieces that don’t whisper, they shout (with style). Perfect for the collector who loves Warhol with a wink, Memphis Group chaos, or just a good old-fashioned explosion of color.
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Maximalist Introvert
Loud in looks, quiet in spirit — Maximalist Introvert is for the soul who thrives in a world of soft clutter, rich textures, and deeply personal treasures. These mystery decor boxes are a curated celebration of layered comfort and expressive detail, made for those who decorate like an art collector but socialize like a ghost.
Inside, you’ll find eclectic vintage pieces that feel storied and intimate: think ornate meets odd, lush meets low-key, curated chaos with a sense of calm. It's your cozy corner of curated excess — because sometimes, the most extra thing you can be is deeply yourself.
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Moonlit Ocean Siren
Dive into a world where oceanic fantasy meets grown-up glamour. Moonlit Ocean are curated mystery boxes filled with vintage treasures that shimmer with sea-salt sophistication and moonlit mystery. Think iridescent textures, deep jewel tones, and alluring details that channel the siren’s call — minus the sparkle overload.
Inside, discover decor and curios that evoke the mystique of the deep sea with a mature twist: moody glassware, weathered shells, fluid shapes, and hints of aquatic opulence. Perfect for anyone who loves the magic of mermaids but prefers their treasures a little darker, a little more refined.
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Frolicking Through the Woods While Never Leaving Home
Step into a woodland wonderland—without ever putting on your boots. These vintage mystery boxes invite you to bring the magic of the forest indoors, blending rustic charm with whimsical whimsy. Inside, you’ll discover treasures that evoke mossy nooks, dappled sunlight, and the gentle rustle of leaves—all curated to create a cozy, enchanted escape right in your own space.
Expect natural textures, vintage botanicals, earthy tones, and playful woodland motifs that feel like a fresh breeze through your favorite forest glade—perfect for anyone who dreams of wandering under the canopy, but loves the comfort of home.
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I Would Curse You, But I’m Out of Fucks to Give (aka Tired Modern Witch)
For the tired modern witch who’s run out of spells — and patience. These mystery boxes are packed with moody, effortlessly cool pieces that blend a dash of dark magic with a whole lot of sarcasm. Think witchy vibes without the fuss: smoky glass, worn leather, mystical motifs, and a hint of “don’t mess with me.”
Inside, you’ll find treasures that echo the exhaustion and edge of someone who’s been there, cursed that, but now just wants to chill — all while looking fabulous. Perfect for anyone who’s embracing their power with a healthy side of “I’m over it.”
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Napoleon was Overcompensating
Experience a bold blend of military grandeur and old-world European sophistication with Napoleon Was Overcompensating. These boxes pay tribute to the turbulent age of the French Revolution and Napoleonic wars — where power, strategy, and style collided in dramatic fashion.
Inside, uncover decor that evokes battlefield grit and aristocratic refinement: think weathered metals, heraldic motifs, rich textiles, and classical design elements steeped in history. Perfect for lovers of war history, European tradition, and the lavish aesthetics of a time when empires rose and fell on the edge of a sword.
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21st Century Marie Antoinette
Indulge in the luxe life of a modern-day queen with 21st Century Marie Antoinette. These mystery boxes reimagine the decadent spirit of Versailles for today’s world — where opulence meets bold individuality and a touch of rebellious flair.
Inside, discover curated treasures that blend rococo extravagance with contemporary edge: think ornate pastels, gilded details, plush textures, and whimsical accents fit for a ruler of style and sass. Perfect for those who aren’t afraid to eat their cake and decorate it too.
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High Tea with a Drop of Whiskey
Stumble playfully into a world where refined elegance meets a rebellious twist. Our High Tea with a Drop of Whiskey boxs are curated for those who appreciate the delicate ritual of afternoon tea… but prefer it with a little bite.
Inside, you’ll find timeless pieces that blend classic English charm with smoky warmth: think fine china with a twist, vintage glassware, dark wood accents, and cozy textiles that invite you to savor the moment — whether with Earl Grey or something stronger.
Perfect for those who love tradition but aren’t afraid to stir the pot.
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Divorced, Beheaded, Died, Divorced, Beheaded Survived
Descend into the turbulent world of Tudor England and the War of the Roses — a saga of power, passion, and resilience. Divorced, Beheaded, Died, Divorced, Beheaded, Survived honors the strength and survival of the formidable women who navigated politics, love, and betrayal in a brutal era.
These vintage mystery decor boxes are filled with pieces that evoke regal grit and timeless elegance: think rich textiles, antique metals, heraldic motifs, and subtle nods to history’s fiercest queens. Perfect for those who admire strength cloaked in beauty, and the stories that shaped a dynasty.
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I Like it, Picasso
Channel your inner art critic with I Like It, Picasso — a vintage mystery decor box bursting with bold shapes, vibrant colors, and a touch of abstract whimsy. Inspired by the playful spirit and avant-garde style of Picasso, this collection mixes vintage charm with modern edge.
Inside, find eclectic pieces that feel like a gallery in your home: think cubist-inspired prints, quirky ceramics, geometric patterns, and splashes of color that demand attention. Perfect for anyone who loves art with personality and isn’t afraid to say, “I like it, Picasso!”
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Feminine Rage
Unleash the fierce, unapologetic spirit of Feminine Rage — compendium that channels raw power, resilience, and bold self-expression. This collection celebrates the strength of women throughout history and culture, blending edgy, striking pieces with timeless vintage charm.
Inside, discover decor that’s both beautiful and defiant: think deep reds, dark metals, textured textiles, and statement accents that speak louder than words. Perfect for those who embrace their power and aren’t afraid to make a statement in their space.
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Cool Girls Have Anxiety
For the effortlessly cool souls who keep it together—mostly. Cool Girls Have Anxiety celebrates the beautifully messy mix of style and realness. Packed with vintage pieces that are as chill as they are thoughtfully curated, this box captures the vibe of calm chaos and quiet strength.
Inside, you’ll find cozy textures, soothing tones, and quirky, comforting accents that feel like a stylish hug for your space. Perfect for those who appreciate that being “cool” doesn’t mean having it all figured out — it means owning your vibe, anxieties and all.
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Dorothy, Blance, Rose, and Sophia Are Your Roommates
Step into a world of laughter, sass, and timeless friendship with Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia Are Your Roommates. This collection captures the charm, wit, and warmth of your favorite golden girls — mixing vintage elegance with playful, cozy touches.
Inside, you’ll find a quirky collection of classic decor pieces that feel like a warm hug from your best friends: soft textiles, vintage florals, cheeky accents, and retro-inspired finds that turn any space into a welcoming living room filled with love and laughter.
Perfect for anyone who believes home is where the humor—and the heart—is.
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Y2K, But Not Ugly
Throw it back to the iconic early 2000s—but with an adult twist. Y2K But Not Ugly captures the playful, shiny, and bold vibes of the Y2K era, updated for a stylish, sophisticated home in 2025.
Inside, find sleek, polished pieces that nod to iconic trends like iridescent finishes, tech-inspired shapes, and glossy textures—without the chaos. Think chic holographic accents, tasteful neon pops, minimalist plastics, and curated nostalgia that feels fresh and livable, not cluttered or kitschy.
Perfect for anyone who loves that Y2K energy but wants it to elevate their modern aesthetic.
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Plant Parent
Welcome to your new green sanctuary! Plant Parent is a group designed for anyone who’s obsessed with all things leafy, lush, and life-giving. Packed with charming vintage finds that celebrate the joy of nurturing nature indoors, this collection brings botanical bliss into your home.
Inside, you’ll discover beautiful planters, textured ceramics, botanical prints, and cozy textiles that echo the calm, refreshing vibe of a thriving indoor jungle. Perfect for seasoned plant parents or anyone dreaming of growing their green thumb with style.
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Indiana Jones and the Temple of My Home
Channel the timeless allure of worldly adventure with Indiana Jones and the Temple of my Home — a vintage mystery decor box collection designed for the modern adult with a taste for exploration and classic style. Inspired by the iconic adventurer’s rugged intellect and iconic aesthetic, this curated assortment blends warm natural tones, rich leathers, and vintage artifacts that bring a sense of discovery and sophistication to your space.
Inside, uncover pieces that evoke leather-bound journals, weathered maps, brass details, and textured woods — perfect for creating a grown-up sanctuary that celebrates curiosity, wit, and the thrill of the unknown. Whether it’s a cozy reading nook or an elegant study, these treasures add a touch of cinematic adventure to your 21st Century home.
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The Never Ending Story
Want to live in aworld where magic never fades and adventure lives on—The NeverEnding Story collection brings the enchanting fantasy of the beloved classic right into your adult space in 2025. Filled with whimsical treasures that capture the movie’s dreamy colors, mystical creatures, and timeless nostalgia, this collection invites you to rekindle your imagination with elegant, grown-up charm.
Inside, discover pieces inspired by lush fantasy landscapes, shimmering aquamarines and soft sunset pinks, delicate textures, and magical motifs that evoke the wonder of a story that never truly ends. Perfect for those who cherish the magic of childhood tales but want their decor to feel sophisticated and soulful.
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Stay Gold, Ponyboy ('50s Greaser)
Slick your hair back, roll up your sleeves, and step into a world of leather jackets, chrome shine, and rebellious charm. These vintage mystery decor boxes channel the gritty romance of the 1950s, inspired by the iconic Outsiders aesthetic and the golden age of jukeboxes, diners, and classic American cool.
Inside, you’ll find decor pieces that echo the era’s swagger and soul: distressed metal accents, retro signage, checkerboard patterns, and moody textures that feel straight out of a roadside diner or a back-alley hangout. Perfect for those who ride the line between rough and refined — and know that staying gold is all about attitude.
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Welcome to Pleasantville (50's Prep)
Yearn for a a picture-perfect world of pastel kitchens, polished smiles, and country club calm? Welcome to Pleasantville is inspired by the wholesome, pressed-and-pressed-again aesthetic of 1950s preps — where everything is charmingly coordinated, and appearances are everything.
Inside, you’ll find decor that evokes the sweet, soft-spoken glam of a bygone era: floral patterns, candy-colored accents, dainty glassware, and vintage touches that feel right at home in a sun-drenched breakfast nook. Ideal for those who adore nostalgia with a neat hair bow and a knowing wink.
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The Sepia Study (70's Intelectual)
Slip into a world of quiet intellect and earthy nostalgia with The Sepia Study, 1970s-inspired boxes designed to evoke the warm, thoughtful ambiance of a bygone era. Each piece inside is hand-selected to capture the essence of retro sophistication—where wood-paneled walls hum with vinyl crackle, and a half-read philosophy book rests beside a cooling cup of dark roast.
This box is perfect for the lover of vintage charm, moody aesthetics, and cerebral style. Expect a blend of textures, tones, and curiosities that whisper of tweed blazers and leather couches, philosophy class energy, coffee bar musings, and an earth tone palette of rust, ochre, olive, and walnut in harmonious balance.
Whether you're redesigning a reading nook or curating a full retro revival, The Sepia Study invites you to slow down, sink in, and stay a while.
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Electric Lounge (70's Disco Queen)
Turn up the funk and cue the glitter ball—The Electric Lounge is your all-access pass to the dazzling, dance-fueled side of the 1970s. These vintage mystery decor boxes are a glamorous nod to the nights of disco fever, gogo boots, and unapologetic sparkle. While The Sepia Study lingers in quiet thought, The Electric Lounge lives for the after-dark energy, where everything shimmers and the only rule is to shine.
Inside, you'll discover bold, eye-catching pieces that radiate retro glam and party-ready charm. Think mirrorball accents, gogo boot attitudes, disco era drama, with a lava lamp glow and funky patterns.
These boxes are perfect for those who love a statement, live for a vibe, and dance like it’s still 1979.
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Neon Suburbia (80's Mall Rat)
Welcome to Neon Suburbia, your totally tubular ticket back to the pastel-colored heart of the 1980s. these decor boxes channel the magic of mall culture, pop ballads blasting from boom boxes, and the soft glow of food court neon. It’s Saturday afternoon freedom, friendships made in food court booths, and golden retrievers lounging while you rewind The Breakfast Club on VHS for the third time.
Inside, you’ll uncover a collection of nostalgic treasures that capture the joyful, upbeat spirit of suburban 80s life—equal parts kitsch and comfort. Expect a blast of bright signage, playful patterns, and just a hint of hairspray; textures and colors that scream movement, fun, and freedom.
These boxes are made for anyone who remembers when the mall was the place to be—or wishes they did. It's a celebration of synth-pop joy, suburban comfort, and youthful nostalgia wrapped in bubblegum pink and neon teal.
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The Power Shift (80's Investment Banker))
Plunge into the high-stakes world of 1980s ambition with The Power Shift, decor items that capture the sharp edges and sleek confidence of Wall Street’s golden decade. Imagine the pulse of Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight playing in a glass-walled corner office, where power suits dominate and Dobermans stand as fierce symbols of loyalty and control.
Inside, you’ll find a curated selection of decor pieces that embody the era’s drive, style, and unapologetic boldness, including clean lines, structured shapes, and commanding presence; Sleek metallics, dark woods, and polished finishes evoking the corporate elite; a bold, minimalist color palette of sharp blacks, deep navy, and flashes of red and chrome.
Whether you’re building your own empire or just want to bring some high-powered 80s edge into your space, The Power Shift delivers a vintage vibe that’s equal parts sophistication and swagger.
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Garage Grunge (90s Subculture)
Plug into the raw, rebellious spirit of the 1990s with Grunge Garage, decor that channels the angst and authenticity of Seattle’s underground music scene. This box is an ode to the era of Nirvana’s electric riffs, flannel-clad days, and nights spent digging through thrift shops for the perfect vintage find.
Inside, you’ll discover a curated mix of gritty, cool, and effortlessly iconic pieces inspired by edgy, rock-and-roll accents that shout authenticity; Vivienne Westwood Edge; retro music vibes and album art inspiration; rugged, laid-back textures and layers that are cozy, imperfect, and uniquely you.
Perfect for anyone who craves that unmistakable 90s underground cool, Grunge Garage invites you to express your inner rebel, whether you’re decorating a loft, a music nook, or a dorm room throwback.
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Pop Stars and Pop Tarts (90s Mainstream)
Want to live in a whirlwind of color, fun, and unstoppable girl power, then Pop Stars and Pop Tarts is for you! This collection captures the bright, bubbly energy of the 90s pop scene—where the Spice Girls ruled the airwaves, Blockbuster lined every corner, and every day was an invitation to lace up your rollerblades and roll into a neon dream.
Inside, you’ll find a playful mix of decor with iconic, colorful patterns that scream nostalgia (think Lisa Frank), bright, quirky textures and accessories, and that endless summer feeling.
Whether you want to relive your Ace of Base days or just bring some 90s pop sparkle to your space, Pop Stars and Pop Tarts is a playful blast of 90s joy that’s ready to brighten any room.
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Millenium Mix (2000s Nostalgia)
Dive into the dazzling, pastel-soaked world of the early 2000s with Millennium Mix, bursting with Y2K energy and nostalgic flair. This box captures the essence of the era when pop icons ruled the charts, layering tank tops and polos were an art form, and everyone dreamed of rocking low-rise jeans while watching Dawson’s Creek.
Inside, you’ll discover a curated collection of playful, quirky, and unmistakably early-aughts pieces.
Iconic fashion vibes (low-rise jeans and Juicy track suits, anyone?) with soft pinks, icy blues, and shimmering silvers. Maybe even some playful nods to the inflatable chairs you never quite dared to sit on. Or we can go the soft, moody tones route that capture that CW-esque teen drama nostalgia.
Whether you want to relive the magic of the millennium or just add some bubblegum pop sparkle to your home, Millennium Mix brings early 2000s nostalgia to life with style and heart.
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Echoes and Eyeliner (2000s Punk)
Maybe you were more Punk Rock Princess than Pop Princess in the early 2000s. Echos and Eyeliner is the darker, edgier, more rebellious sister Millennium Mix. These boxes dive deep into the era where studded belts were worn with pride, hoodies had thumb holes, and every corner echoed the angst of My Chemical Romance and AFI.
Inside, you’ll find a curated collection of gritty, atmospheric home accents inspired by Pre-Emo Pop Punk Style (black-washed textures, graphic elements, and unapologetic attitude translated into statement decor pieces: metal-accented accessories, distressed finishes, and rebellious silhouettes) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes (dark, supernatural ambiance with candles, shadows, and mystical touches straight out of a late-night demon-hunting scene).
Perfect for anyone who remembers—or wishes they’d lived— Echos and Eyeliner brings a moody, authentic edge home.